Hello!

Just thought I would direct you to my new journal that I started a
week or so ago. Its much the same as this one, but with out the added inspiration of a fun run to keep me going. This is why its a struggle. See you in the next blog.

Picutures of Race for Life 2008 City of London

YIPEE WE DID IT

Hello Everyone, what a glorious sunny Wednesday this is. What can I say, I feel good and if I must say I am looking good. And I am feeling healthier. The doctors were right. Don't take no notice of fad diets, its crap-a-roony. Healthy eating and exercise will help with those love handles. But believe me, I know it is hard. It has been a struggle, and it will remain a struggle to stay like this too. I still want to lose another couple of stone, oh by the way my weight now is 11 stone 13 and a half pound! Whoo hoo! And I still want to get fitter, girls you have no idea what goes through you mind when you re-claim your hips back!

I am not going to tell you how our jogging went, I want to tell you about the events that led to me going on this immense struggle. If you are a first time reader, and don't want to go to the very first post (but I don't see why not, just think of it as a novel......ok an epic novel, but just read a chapter at a time) nagging sister blackmailed me into doing the race for life, in aid of Cancer Research UK. Our mum has recently passed away through cancer, she died last November, after battling pancreatic cancer for only 5 months. Nagging sister had told me that she would be doing the race for life, and I promptly said to her 'Yeah good luck, I shall sponsor you' But nagging sister was having none of that, 'You are going to be joining me' she says. I just looked at my 13 stone frame and thought that there is no way this old girl will be jogging any 5kms anywhere. That's when nagging sister bought out the big guns, and placed the huge emotional blackmail card in front of me. 'But we are going to have mums face on our Tee-shirts' What could I say, but 'Ok I'm in'

The event took place on Sunday 1st June, 2008. I must admit, I really must thank nagging sister for making me do the run. It was a marvelous event, 7,500 women took part in our event. The day wasn't too hot or too cold, the crowds were cheering each and everyone taking part. There were tears and smiles and laughter and in our case singing as we took part. We entered as a team, twenty of us all, including children from 6 to 10 year olds. So I am going to admit it now, we didn't jog the whole 5km, in fact we hardly jogged at all. Because we entered as a team we all wanted to finish as a team, from the youngest 5 year old to the eldest 60 year old, (who in fact wore her high heeled shoes)

My sister done us proud. She had all the tee shirts printed up with a picture of our mum on the front, and we were all sporting pink foil wigs, mums favorite colour. We looked brilliant. We all stayed together on the walk around the City of London, and even the little 6 year old didn't flag too much. We crossed the finishing line as a pink haired team feeling emotional, proud, happy, tired but very very pleased that we were taking part in an event to raise money for this dreadful disease that claims so many lives, and is not indiscriminate who it touches.

So my blog reading friends enjoy the pictures that we took, I will continue my struggle with my keep fit regime, I may even start a new blog, (as soon as I get my new computer). but for now goodbye, watch this space, its been fabulous.


OI. Don't go yet, I haven't had my Word. Nagging Sister here, all these months of being abused and being called nagging sister is only half the storey. You should have heard the expletives some original swear words and the hand signals that I have had to endure and put up with whilst getting the old girl and new recruit fighting fit for the 'run'. What I haven't told them yet is that we are going to do the same run again next year but we will be running the whole way, with no children to hold us back, and I have found a 10km run that I am busy researching for the 'ladies' and I use that term loosely, for us all to enter. So I am looking forward to another years abuse and being called nagging sister. Goodbye all, and like my sister says, watch this space.

Monday Moaning!

Hi blog readers, Its Monday again, and I have no little fella to pick up from nursery but I still had to do the jog with nagging sister and new recruit this morning. I had some fantastic ideas of what I really wanted to do, and that was to stay in bed under the duvet and have a glorious lay in.

But before I tell you about today let me tell you all about our cycle ride on Wednesday 14th May. Nagging sister had managed to blag a bike for new recruit to come riding with us, no doubt she went into nag overdrive and convinced some poor mother to let her borrow her sons bike, 'Its for charity!' I can imagine her saying to the poor mother.'We need to get new recruit into shape for the run in two weeks or so' So the poor mother gave new recruit the bike to loan, new recruit has said that she hasn't been on a bike for years, and was just scowling and nagging sister hoping against hope that the poor mother wouldn't buckle under the relentless nagging, like so many of us have up to now.

We all arranged to meet at the pre arranged meeting point, but I was running a little late, what with taking kids to school and nursery, and then getting back to pick up my bike to ride to the meeting point, but when I got there much to my amusement was nagging sister and new recruit fiddling with the loaned bikes wheel.
'*******' Was all I heard from nagging sisters mouth, 'Why did I offer to pump up the tyre' She says, 'It only needed a little bit more air but I have let all the air out now, stupid bloomin bike pump' New recruit was just looking at her with an amused look on her face. 'Give it here' I said to nagging sister, but even I couldn't work out the stupid bike pump. So there we were, three girls, three bikes, two pumps, and no idea how to get air into the one flat tyre.

'There is only one thing for it' says nagging sister 'I am going to have to ride home, put my bike in the car and get the old fashioned pump out of the garage to see if that will do it' both me and new recruit didn't disagree with that, we just sat down as we waved her goodbye. But as with our luck that day, the rain came, OK it was only a couple of drops and not really enough to stop us going for our bike ride, but still there it was, the damp air, curling up my straight hair. While nagging sister was away we desperately tried to pump up the tyre, just to teach her a lesson about not being so helpful in future, but we couldn't. Then we saw a fellow cyclist and asked her if she had a pump and much to our delight she did! And it was the old fashioned type, you know the one with the little tubey bit at the end, and it did fit! Just as we were about to fix it, nagging sister rolled up in her car, with two pumps. Darn it, I so wanted it to be ready by the time she came back. But just as we were about to say bye to the fellow cyclist, nagging sister suggested she waits, just in case her pump didn't fit. Darn why didn't I think like that, too busy trying to get one up on sister probably, but you guessed it, nagging sisters didn't fit, and so the other lady stayed with us while we pumped up new recruits loaned bikes tyre. Our goodbyes said, and nagging sister just parking up her car and about to get her bike out of it, when new recruit noticed that the newly pumped up tyre, was now flat as a pancake again. 'See, see, it wasn't me that flattened it by being helpful, it has a puncture!!' By this time new recruit has vowed never to go riding again, and now time had run out for me to do the bike ride and get back in time to pick the little fella up from nursery. There was only one thing left to do, I go home, new recruit and nagging sister bung the flat tyred bike in the back on the car and go and take it to a MAN who can fix it.

But today's jog with nagging sister went rather well, we did her two mile stint around her block, the one that she takes new recruit on, of course nagging sister is telling me, again, how far new recruit gets to, so I had to pull out all the stops and try and beat new recruit and keep it beaten for ages, just to shut up nagging sister. We completed the two miles in about thirty minutes, which was very good for me, considering this morning, the only thoughts occupying my mind was staying in bed, under the duvet and drifting off to far and pleasant lands and activities. Sigh!

What a glorious Day????

Hi blog readers. Yes I am back on nagging sisters computer to let you all know about our progress.

Its a beautiful sunny day, it just makes you want to be out in the sunshine............but not jogging. Have you ever tried jogging in the heat, it's a killer. I thought jogging in the snow was awful, but I got over it, then I jogged in the rain, something I said I never would do because I don't want my hair to curl, but nagging sisters nagging was on top form and I was out in the rain. Roll on the sunshine I said to myself. Boy how naive am I. The heat just begs you to sit out in it and not knock your socks off running!

So there we are, nagging sister, new recruit and me, bottles of water in hand looking at the expanse of park that nagging sister has taken us to. 'This is where we are going to jog today, twice round the park' Both me and new recruit were almost delirious with the thought of going round once let alone twice. We were informed by a chap before that the path around the park is about 1.2 miles, over two miles nagging sister wants us to jog, in the heat!

We start off a nice leisurely pace, water bottles full, ice cooling our drinks for us, but still, that path, it looks so far. Gently jogging now and the banter is gently directed at nagging sister, oh it feels so good to have an understanding jogger with me, nagging sister just a head of us nagging! 'Come on ladies, pick up the pace, get that heart beat going' Both new recruit and me thought that we were doing well considering the heat, but nagging sister wasn't satisfied.

By the time we get half way round the first lap, my water was virtually gone, and the thought of doing another lap was so far from my mind. And what was making it worse was all the "profesional" joggers over taking us and looking as if they were out for a Sunday afternoon stroll. My face was set to explode it was so hot, the sweat pouring into my eyes making it difficult to see the next tree or changing room to jog to. I look across to naggng sister, not a drop of sweat from her, make up, lippy, masacara all perfectly painted on to her non red sweaty face. I felt so much better when I looked at new recruit. There was not a sound coming from her, just sweat running down her red face. Both of us looking at each other thinking 'Why on earth are we doing this' Then new recruit said 'I bet you mum is up there looking down on us right now saying, "why don't you just go and sponsor someone else instead"' Well that made us laugh and even gave us more energy to carry on jogging as we thought about our mum.

First lap finished, and the second lap looking like a japanse indurance game show round, nagging sister let us have two minuets rest. Two minutes! I want at least Two hours! This really does seem an impossible feat. But the Race for life is coming up, we still got to reach our target of three miles, and so I push my self out to start the second lap. At least the people we pass this time round will be the same and they will know that we are 'professional' joggers as we lap them on our second lap. I must admit, (but not to nagging sister) I felt good at doing the second lap, as last time round this park, new recruit and me sat in the car waiting for nagging sister to come back from her rain soaked second lap)

It felt so good to see the gate at the end of the second lap, carrying my empty water bottle, and now desperatly wanting the 'ladies rest room' 'Come on will sprint to the car from here' Says non sweaty beatifully made up, skinny non red faced nagging sister. What me and new recruit said was unprintable but I shall let your imaginations go to work.

But on the other hand my blog readers, the scales have finally started to tell me that I am doing something right, twelve stone and 4 pounds this morning! thats a loss of nine and three quater pounds loss, Yippee!

Wet Wednesday

Ok, so at least I am managing to get to write my blog at least every week now, but I must admit, I havae been a bit lazy because of it. I know, I know, even the thought of nagging sister did not get me off my (diminishing) backside on Monday, and I am despratly trying to think why I didn't go jogging on the Monday, both nagging sister and new recruit are trying to help me remember, I blame old age now. This Tuesday I did go jogging, but not with nagging sister or new recruit, Have I impressed you all,...... well don't be, they both went earlier because I was waiting in for a very special parcel for the old man,......his fishing rod! But nagging sister thought of a way of getting me to go out jogging, and that was for her to come to me wait in for the parcel and litteraly kick me out of my house! I did not even have my joggers on, but nagging sister went into freefall nag mode until I reluctantly went up the stairs to get changed. In the mean time nagging sister was down in the kitchen putting her pie and mash on her plate and using my brand new table to sit at. 'Go on then' she says with her mouth full of pie, 'Get out and jog and don't be long'

Like the dutiful sister that I am I went out, full of........well I'm not sure, but i wasn't expecting to beat my personal best that day. I went off at a resonable pace and was quite pleased that I was out really, but i'm wouldn't say that to nagging sister, I managed to jog all the way to the ally bit passing the work men on the way, 'only me' today I said to the workmen, feeling very smug that they are thinking I am the fitter one of the three of us, I carried on to turn around lampost.

I must write this down before I forget (again) new recruit and I did as we were told last Thursday and did our jog to the new turnaround place, (the church) we managed to jog the whole way to the original turnaround lamppost in 7 minuts and something and the the new bit which is well, shall I say about 200 metres, and i'm not very good at judging lengths, but it would have taken nagging sister 3 minutes to do her self, but it took 7 minutes to get there and back! Ok confession over, I can't remember anything else, and I want to see my solicter before I do.

Today it is Wednesday, and it is wet, very wet. Nagging sister and I (I'm sure I did agree, but I can't remember) that if it is raining on the Wednesday when we want to go cycling then we will go jogging instead, its safer that way, and besides we can drag new recruit with us too. We decided to go the park and jog around the track, twice, according to nagging sister anyway, new recruit and I had other thoughts. The rain had stopped for a while when we arrived at the park so I was quite pleased about that, I just hate it when my hair curls up, and so I was once again pleased that I am out and ready to jog.

We started off at a nice pace and it was quite comfortable, but then I felt the rain start again, the way round looked a very long way indeed. 'New recruit got as far as that first brick building' says nagging sister. Blimey, it didn't take long before she started to wind us up, but me and new recruit know her game now and just smile at each other, and think about our Thursday leisurley stroll to the new turnaround point. It really does bring a smile to our faces.

But to get to the end of this blog, I need to get out of nagging sisters house now, we completed the first lap of the park, 'Come on girls' says nagging sister 'lets go for the second lap' Both me and new recruit said something uniintellgibly, grabbed nagging sisters car keys and sat in her car, encouraging nagging sister to go around again. I took note of the time that me and new recruit did the first lap in and it was 15:11.48, as we waved of nagging sister. Just as nagging sister reached the first brick building th rain came down heavier, and both me and new recruit just burst out laughing thinking of the makeup running down nagging sister face. Joy of joys, nagging sister was going to be looking a mess, and I was there to witness it.

I suppose we should pat her on the back for actually going out to finishining it. She got back to us, wet, red faced but the make up was not running down her face like it did yesterday, when she went out jogging yesterday with new recruit. No panda eyes, no looking like Alice Cooper, but she did look like a drown rat, just like me and new recruit. My hair was now curling up, and the face was still wet, puffy and red as was new recruits. But I think all three of us were pleased that we did it, even in the rain. Oh erm.... nagging sisters time was 28:48.

HI, MY BLOGGING FRIENDS!

What a story I have to write now! First of all I must apologise for my lack of blogs recently. My computer is still dead, it needs a new mothership or some other alien part to make it work, if ever, again. The whole computer world is alien to me, and the fact that my blog is still out here in what ever this world is, is a complete mystery to me! If only I had I sent my work to myself on e-mail I wouldn't have spent these past couple of weeks crying over my tax returns, as I was writing out the whole year again with the old fashioned pen and paper!

On the jogging front, it really has been a struggle for the past two weeks as the kids were off school! I think we managed to get out maybe twice to do our jog. But before that we were doing really well, I even got my time down to 15:00.04 minutes, my personal best, and I am ashamed to say still unbeaten record.

Nagging sister is still, well nagging, but as you know I now have an Alie (is that how you spell it, pronounced Aa-lye? She did let us off going all the way to the church while new recruit caught up to the standard that I was at, which is breathless, red faced and aching after ten minutes jogging!

The weight issue has been a problem for me. It has not dropped off as fast as I hoped, in fact it has not dropped off at all! The old boy has lost a stone in weight just by cutting out milk in his coffee at work, and obviously eating a healthy balanced meal prepared by myself, but still a whole stone, and here I am slogging my guts out, looking like an over ripe tomato, thundering down the footpath in either the new jogging Athletic suit of the ripped joggers and shrunken hoodie. Its not a pretty sight. An still nagging sister rolls up looking flaming gorgeous full make up and toned legs! But I will not be put off, I will not go back to eating takeaway curries................... Oh yes, I remember now, after those two weeks of kids school holidays I kinda celebrated with a lovely indian takeaway! Oh how easy it is to slip back to those good old days.

So I started again in earnest yesterday, that's Tuesday 23rd April, with a jog with nagging sister and new recruit............Sorry, I didn't do any exercise on the Monday, I still had my tax returns to cry into, (darn that code purple thingy on my computer) But we did a nice gently jog all the way to turn around lamppost, and I do mean ALL the way to turnaround lamppost. We didn't walk at all, both me and new recruit was absolutely thrilled with ourselves, admittedly we did grumble and moan at nagging sister all the way, but we did it. Then nagging sister told us that we were going beyond there an on to the church! Then we did moan and mumble and grumble with more vigour. 'Less moaning and more running' says glamorous looking nagging sister to the now sweaty, puffing red faced victims of nagging sister.

But on to the church we went, and to be truthful, it wasn't that much further! and we did the whole jog, that's from my house to the church and back again in about nineteen minutes.

And today, well today it is raining, me and nagging sister normally go for a lovely bike ride, oh how I have missed my bike, but as I explained to nagging sister, rain, sweaty hot read faces and glasses don't go. My glasses steam up. So I thought I would be a great idea to come to her house, and write my blog and just try and keep my enthusiasm going. Half way through my blog nagging sister decides 'its not raining that hard now, we are going for the two mile jog!' 'Eh? is all i could think of to say. I mean i look a complete mess after I have been jogging when the weather is good, now she wants to take me out while its raining. I shall look a disaster area. Not only will I look hot (and I don't mean that in the lovely sexy way), red faced and sweaty, I shall look hot, red faced, sweaty and like a drowned curly haired rat!

After setting the time on her mobile, nagging sister kicks me out of her house and we start up the road. Its a nice gentle jog, but I can just start to feel the curls appearing on my head, and all the thoughts in my is about how much like the Bo Selecta character of scary spice I am going to look like. All the while nagging sister is saying to me new recruits first attempt was to this sign, and I so wished she hadn't told me, because now i have to do better. The she tells me that her second attempt was to the hump back bridge, and of course I had to go further than that. And I did, we got to the end of the hump back bridge road and then we walked a little bit, and then carried on jogging. Nagging sister in the mean time is saying to me 'Come on you ran further yesterday' I know I did, but what nagging sister is forgetting is that some of 'her' route is a 1/10 gradient hill! Ok so slight exaggeration there, but it sure feels like it when you are jogging up it. Still, I jogged quite away round her route, and just to let new recruit know, nagging sister let me walk past the bus stop, you know Vic 2, the one where she makes you run pass all those people waiting for the bus. Wasn't she kind to me. And I know exactly what you wanted to say to those bus passengers, and what you wanted to say to nagging sister!!!

'We shall get to the old cop shop' informs nagging sister 'and then we shall run all the rest of the way home' I don't think so, is what I was thinking. I was soaked to the skin, my hair looks like stuff you feed to you donkeys and my legs were killing me. I didn't do too badly considering though, and some of the route home is down hill, well it would be as I jogged up hill in the first place! And we managed to do the whole jog in about 31 minutes. So I think a pat on the back for this old girl, and an even harder pat on the back for nagging sister! Apparently she jogged the whole two miles in twenty two minutes without stopping, Oh how I hate........the rain!

Crash, Boom, Bang, Weekend!

As you are probably aware, no blogs on Friday, Saturday or Sunday. Crash, my computer went down on Saturday after noon. Ok, so I didn’t have any good news to write anyway, but still, I was looking forward to my blogging! I did absolutely nothing on Friday. The weather was dreadful, even the old boy said ‘You probably won’t want to go jogging today’ Boy was he so right, But I didn’t do any dancing in the kitchen that day either, but I decided not to beat myself up about things like that, I have a nagging sister to do that for me.

On Saturday I went for my run after a nagging from the old boy (I wonder if he has been taking lessons off nagging sister?). The old boy had to do the timing for me, I had forgotten to charge up my mobile! I was just hoping that he does it like I do, start the clock as soon as I start running from the lamppost outside my house and then stop it the second my foot passes it on the return!

Now remembering that my time on Thursday as 15:09 I had a feeling that that will remain my personal best (after all it is the day after the Friday night drinkies) I still pushed my self had. I didn’t want to get a sixteen something.

Checking that the old boy had the stopwatch ready (I would have taken it myself but the old boy was on call, so I couldn’t take his phone) I jogged off. It was a hard slog, I’m sure I can still feel the beer sloshing around mixing up with the chicken bits, (yuck, what a revolting thought, I must try and choose a healthier late night beer munchies) I knew I wouldn’t get anywhere near my time I did on Thursday, but I still nagged myself, and had nagging sisters voice nagging, and the thought of the old boy on the stopwatch, watching it creeping up, counting the seconds.

Needless to say, I didn’t do too well, in fact the old boy said as he opened the door ‘you lazy old mare, what took you so long’ Well it wasn’t that long, it was infact 15:55, nearly 16 mins, I am so glad I pushed myself a little extra at the end!

Sunday was too bad a day, the sun was shining, it was warm out, and I felt good,……not! What with the hours missing sleep due to the clocks going forward the thought of my computer going into melt down, giving me a “Cod Purple Configuration Error” what on earth does all that mean!! I still did better than yesterday though, which I was fairly pleased with, 15:44 seconds to be precise. I think Thursdays time must have been a fluke, or I might have had the wind blowing me along on the way there and on the way back!

Monday now, and of course nagging sister and new recruit. But, today new recruit has cried off, she has a stomach ache! I think she had too much of a grilling from nagging sister, or she may have had to much grilling! Grilled sausage, grilled bacon, grilled tomatoes, hmmmm I’m getting hungry writing this stuff!

So where was I, oh yes, nagging sister is explaining to me that new recruit is not coming so today she suggests that we go as far as turn around lamppost and back home again. She wants to see herself how fast her own time is doing this jog! I can just imagine it being in the single numbers, ‘Very encouraging’ I think to myself, ‘I just want to know for myself’ says nagging sister, I think its to ‘encourage me to go faster, and maybe knock her block off……..I mean try and emulate her!

We start off the same time, same pace and chatting away to each other, exactly like it says in all the leaflets and books and what not about how you must jog but be able to carry on a conversation. If by conversation they mean grunts, moans and gurgles then that is what I have been doing! Nagging sister ask how far I normally jog to and I say to her in a very breathless way ‘to five posts and slightly beyond’ but I know I did quite get the ‘slightly beyond bit out’. That is exactly what I did today, to five posts and beyond slightly behind nagging sister, but only by a second, until I had to start walking. ‘come on’ she calls out too me, and she sounds as if she has jus got out of bed! ‘keep jogging’ she says naggingly. ‘go on, you go on with out me’ and that is what she did. She left me, I saw her sprinting up the rest of the path, reach the ally bit and not even look as if she is slowing down. I on the other hand walked to the next lamppost and carried on jogging until the ally bit. I took a deep breath and I could see that nagging sister was at the end of the ally bit, now I’m now good with distance but its maybe two or three hundred meters, I’m sure those who know me will tell me that I cam completely wrong, but nagging sister was one end and I was the other. She got to turn around lamppost and was heading back home while I was still stuck in the middle of the ally, grinding my teeth that I will have to pass her! I get to turn around lamppost and start heading home again, hoping that nagging sister is still in the ally, but she is no where to be seen, ‘she is more probably at five posts now’ I said to my self, it is not a good encouragement to see your ‘personal trainer’ head off in the distance while your flailing about trying to jump the soggy, spreading dog poo!

As I immerged out of the ally, I saw sister just turn the corner at five posts. There is no way in heaven or hell that I was catching up to her. ‘just enjoy another walk’ I convince myself. ‘I can always blame nagging sister for making me feel inadequate when I get home’

I didn’t think about the time, I tried to do my best and get to torture point as quick as my little fat legs could get me there. I crossed over the road, took a deep breath and ran as fast as I could, as I passed the houses I could see nagging sister, “lounging” on my wall outside my house. She couldn’t have made it more obvious that she was the ‘winner’ it she tried. I urged myself to go faster, but my legs were not listening, and I got to my gate a sweaty, breathless, heap of a human being that you can imagine.

Eventually we compare times, mine was 7:42 at turn around lamppost and 15:34 to the end. Not bad, not good, but not bad, still better than yesterdays. And of course loads of room for improvement.

Oh I suppose I better mention nagging sisters time, 6:51 at turn around lamppost and 12:56 on the home stretch! Grrrrrr, gnarl, grinding teeth.!!

So in honour of nagging sisters effort just a little anecdote for you reading pleasure.

As I explained up above, my computer has virtually died on me, so I tell nagging sister that I may come around to here house on Thursday to write up the blogs. But she said to me, and I quote ‘why don’t you write them out and email me today’s one, and I can add it on for you!’ hmm, she may be taller, younger, fitter and have no grey hair under her blonde hair, but neither is there any ‘grey matter’ I obviously got her share!

Bang! There goes nagging sisters street cred!

Struggle, What struggle?!

This old girl is not so old!! This old girl can give it what’s what, when its needed! Needless to say I did really well today. But I totally surprised myself. I thought I did worse that yesterday, I really don’t get it. When I think I have done good, it turns out that I was like an eighty year old with a zimmer frame, and when I think I did, well, crap, then I have to look at the stopwatch several times, wiping sweat from my brow to keep checking that its right. I was like lightening today!

I still haven’t got the little fella so I can go out and do the mile jog. To be honest I wasn’t looking forward to it. I was hoping to have the little fella today, apart from the fact that I’ve missed his cheeky little face, but then I wouldn’t have to go out there and bust a gut to just grab a few seconds back from yesterdays time. I didn’t even have to get up for the school run today, I could have stayed in bed until two thirty in the afternoon and then rushed around and do the housework before anyone came home.

But the voice is back in my head, my goal to jog the whole three miles of the ‘Race for Life’ is always on my mind, and the thought of my mum whose inspiration has got me off my backside to do something is a strong as ever, finally kicked my out of my bed at eight thirty this morning.

So after reading the paper, having my yoghurt and my cup of tea, I think about what it is that I have to do. Sister calls me to interrupt my thoughts, ‘Blimey she must have sixth sense’ I was thinking ‘Here comes the nagging’ but no nagging from sister. ‘Maybe I should just do some vigorous dancing in the kitchen then’ I was thinking after I put the phone down. But the voice in my head wasn’t going to let me do that. Then I remembered the time yesterday, I felt determined that I got to beat that, so I started my warm ups. It almost seemed a half hearted warm up I really didn’t want to do it, I was so disappointed yesterday, maybe that is what is in the back of my mind. But not doing it will not help me to beat that. One last stretch, check I have my key tied to my joggers and my mobile phone at the ready I head for the door.

There were men cutting the grass outside and it smelled so nice. ‘Yep,’ I thought to myself ‘This could be a good time’ well anything to try and get me motivated this morning, and I started my stopwatch and off I went. I got to as far as the top of the road and I was seriously thinking I needed to stop and catch my breath. Maybe I hadn’t warmed up enough, it was kind of a mediocre effort this morning. But I carried on, ’If I can get to the five posts then there is every chance of at least matching yesterdays time’ I thought to myself.

It really is an effort today, almost to the point where I would get to five posts and turn and go home. But that is defeatist thinking. Just remember why you are doing this, in whose memory its for, and whose beautiful face is going to be on our tee shirts. Onward to turnaround lamppost, knowing that from next week that is going to be a passing lamppost!

Homeward bound at last, saying good morning to the lady walker, no dog owners this morning and always hurdling over the dogs doing (but now they have been flattened by the rain and spreading over the path!). Through the ally onto the next lamppost and then walk. But I walk two lampposts. I am really annoyed with myself. ’what is stopping you from jogging’ I ask myself, ’is it the breathlessness, aching limbs’ I couldn’t actually pinpoint anything that was stopping from jogging so after the nagging I gave myself, and trying to imagine nagging sister with me, I jogged on.

Now I am a torture point. The part of the mile when nagging sister has decided that this is a good time to sprint to my house. I cross over the road, I look ahead of me, take a deep breath and then start running. I can almost hear myself willing me to go faster, go faster, go faster. I even feel myself slowing down and speeding up again.

‘Yes’ I shout very loudly, in my head as I reach my gate, because by now there was not a bit of breath left in me, I push the button to stop the clock. And slowly make my way to the door, I look at the time, 15,17:27 ’ Well that’s not bad, better than yesterday’ I open the door and look at again at my watch, 15:19:30, it was still going. Then I looked more carefully at the clock and I realised my time was actually 15:09:58. After looking and looking again realised I had read the wrong time! I was so pleased with myself, and I quickly texted the old boy and nagging sister of my quickest run ever to brag!

A Huge Sigh Day!

It wasn’t a good start to the day when nagging sister called me from her sick bed. ‘I won’t be able to go on our bike ride today’ She said through her blocked nose, making her sound like she is underwater. ‘If it was just a blocked nose I would still come’ she said bravely, ‘But all my limbs ache and I just don’t have the energy’

I was thinking to myself that maybe nagging sister had pushed new recruit too hard and new recruit had slipped her a ‘Mickey Finn’ or something, but I’m sure new recruit said she went straight home and didn’t move until this morning, something about her legs not working properly.

Its down to me again, and hopefully nagging sisters subliminal gentle persuasions to ‘Move my backside’ would kick in. So I dutifully waved the young girl off to her school, I really should have taken the bikes, but I had told myself I would push my self extra hard instead. And I came home and started my warm ups. I was booging on down to some great tunes, and I was thinking to myself maybe I will stay here and just do this, but, No, knowing that nagging sister had told me that I need to beat my time of yesterday, in preparation for going further a field next week, I set up my mobile to the stopwatch function and went outside.

It is a lovely morning, not cold at all, I feel positive, again, that I can do better this time. But with no nagging sister here, and no new recruit to impress, it was having an effect on me. Thinking about poor nagging sister feeling horrible and me out here in the glorious sunshine, maybe I should have nagged her to get up and get out. Sweat that darn cold out of her instead. That is supposed to be good for you, right?

I start my jog at a fairly reasonable pace, maybe a bit faster than nagging sister goes when she is with me, but I feel I can keep this pace up until the end. I jogged my little black and white strippey socks of, I reached five posts without stopping and even shot passed to the next lampposts nagging myself to go further, Oh, poor nagging sister, and poor new recruit with her sore legs, but push on I must. I can’t let sentiment get to me, I think to myself. I am doing well, and I reach the first lamppost where I need to start walking, ‘Well that’s not too bad , old girl’ I congratulate myself, and then I stupidly check my stopwatch, ‘What, how can that be, I jogged nearly all the way how can the time show that!’ The time was 6 minuets and something, I was too annoyed with myeself to look at the other numbers. and I still had to get to turn around lamppost. I start to think if actually I had been walking and not noticed, but my body was saying to me that no way did I do any walking until now. I feel a bit disappointed with myself but I pick up my pace from the next lamppost. I think I walked just a couple more times after that before I started on the jog back. My split time at turn around lamppost was a very disappointing 7:44:82 so I really tell myself off and punish myself by jogging all the way through the ally and on passed two more lampposts before I took my next walk.

If you have gathered my now my time wasn’t as good as yesterdays, it in fact the time was 15:49:95! and I really thought I had pushed myself hard today, maybe it was the thought of nagging sister lying in her house, in the warm, no exercising, probably eating grapes and left over Easter eggs, and more than likely watching day time rubbish on the telly, laughing at me through her ‘Man Cold’ bunged up nose. Yeah, that’s it, I shall blame nagging sister, its her fault that my time wasn’t good today. Next time though, you watch.!.

The sun is Shining, its a Good Day

Ok, now that we have all had a laugh at the old girl in her tracksuit, perhaps you may want to continue reading!

As I promised myself, I weighed and measured and noted down everything! I was quite disappointed with the results of these things, but nagging sister has nagged again and told me to write them down here, for all to see, especially me, so that I know that what I am doing is in fact ‘doing me some good’ So for those who don’t want to be bored, and I feel and hope that is the case, then skip this paragraph and go to the next. I shall write all numbers in letters, that way when you look at them they just look like writing. Top of each arm is fourteen inches, chest and other bits are thirty five and forty inches respectively and the waist is thirty three, hips forty two and legs at the top part is a very depressing twenty seven. But the thing which I am disappointed in is my weight with has gone up again to twelve stone and eleven and quarter pounds!

OK so that’s that done and now for the bestest bit ever! My time today is 15:30:82 and nagging sisters time is 15:55:53. Oh, have I written it down correctly, Is it in the wrong order? NO I beat nagging sister on that stretch of path!

We started off at the same time, a nice gentle pace that I can’t seem to start off with unless nagging sister is with me, and we round the corner, still jogging, no stopping until we reach the beginning of the path. A nice gentle jog, I really feel as if I can jog the whole way today, well two days rest I should have two days energy, right?! We see the usual people, the friendly dog walkers, the golfers and I feel very comfortable indeed. ‘If you need to stop any time just say’ I shout to the back of me, where nagging sister is. ‘You go on old girl’ she calls back to me ‘You are keeping an eye on your time’ she says helpfully. So off I go, quick glance at the stopwatch (still need to get a proper one) and here comes my first lamppost where I want to walk from. I feel quite pleased with myself, ‘its not an embarrassing length of jogging’ I think to myself ‘Go on, don’t stop keep on running’ nagging sister calls out to me, by now she is at least 50 meters behind me. And I did indeed jog on. I push myself through the ally bit, and try to jog to the turn around lamppost. I didn’t check my split time, I don’t want to accidentally push any buttons today, not with nagging sister behind me, and head off on the homeward journey.


It felt good to pass sister, who was not even at turnaround lamppost when I reached the ally bit. ‘Got to keep on going’ I think to my self, ‘got to beat my time’ Nagging sister notices that I am walking to the next lamppost from way back, and shouts out to me like an old fishwife, ‘Keep those arms up, walk faster!

It is so very hard to concentrate on pacing myself so that I can beat my time, plus keep a listen out of nagging sister and still hurdle over the dogs doing! But I feel I am doing really well. This could be the under 15 minuets time it certainly feels good. But I’m wondering if that is just because nagging sister is behind.

On to the stretch of the road where nagging sisters has her last piece of torture for us, the sprint to my house. I try not to squeeze my hand on my phone, I don’t want any accidental pushing of buttons, I really want to see how far sister is behind me. Running to the gate, all the while listening out for nagging sister. Made it, I stop my time and its 15:30:82 That’s quicker than ever, I feel real pleased with myself, and then I hear nagging sister, ‘come on that’s it, as fast as you can!’ I stop the time again and her time is 15:55:53 a whole twenty seconds behind, and then I stop the clock again as nagging sister newest recruit comes in at 16:09:03! Oh did I forget to mention that nagging sister has been recruiting more ‘willing’ victims for the ‘Race for life’. I am so sorry. New recruit came in quicker than I did on my first time out on that stretch of path, and I patted her on her back and sympathised with her after the nagging she had from nagging sister.

But, I was still quicker that nagging sister! ‘I feel good, der, ner ner ner ner ner ner, Like I knew that I would now, der ner ner ner ner ner ner.!’


p.s. the pictures up the top are of nagging sister and new recruit, and me in my trendy new tracksuit, I thought you may all have a laugh and get it over and done with!

Easter Monday

It is still snowing outside, and I have decided to have another day off, as it’s the holidays. The snow is not settling but it is coming down quite heavy. Even a good nagging from the old boy could not get me out of my bed. You know the sort of nagging just like the Bart and Lisa Simpson episode to get Homer to take them to the park or whatever it was.

I am writing this little bit today and I can’t believe what I am thinking. In my head is nagging sisters voice. Not only does she nag me when we go out running or cycling together, or when I am jogging by myself. And even yesterday, she nagged me about not doing any exercise and about my writing for that day! But now, when I am not doing anything and it’s a good decision not to do anything, she is in my head again, naggining me about not writting anything boring! Maybe she should write about nothing and make it sound interesting!

So today’s page is just this. I am having a full two days off keeping fit, and I have not giving up at the first hurdle as the old boy said this morning. In fact he did say ‘I knew it wouldn’t last long’ But let me assure you all who are reading this, and to remind myself too, I have not given up. I shall be back to it tomorrow come snow or shine, or even the dreaded rain!

Did someone mention spring?

Snow, no jogging today!

I'm sure I heard on the radio that only three days ago was the first day of spring! And look at it! Snow, lovely, fluffy, cold, wet snow. Because you know what this means? It means I haven’t developed an obsession about this keep fit after all. I have indeed just a normal healthy interest in being healthier. Because there is no way that I’m going out there today. If there are people out there, in this, then they are just crazy! And its probably just as well really I don't go out, after all Him upstairs decided to have a rest day at least for one day a week, and I have realised its been a while since I have had a break from the keep fit malarkey. I’m including the Thursday shopping day in that too. All that bending and stretching to try new jog pants and sweat shirts on, is a workout in itself.

So I am having a day off! I have no housework to get on with, the old boy is a work and young son is under my feet and in my fridge, freezer in fact, anywhere where is food! (lucky little skinny, fat burning young person, mumble, grumble)

I had weighed myself this morning and to my horror I had put on a pound. I could quite easily give up dieting and exercise like all the other times I have tried before. The Weightwatchers, the counting calories, letting the old boy do all the cooking. It worked for a while, but it never continued. After beating myself up, (I had remembered the extra couple of pints of lager I had on Saturday, and the snickers choccie bar) I told myself, ‘These things will happen’ And I’m sure they will again.

So on Tuesday I am going to weigh myself, and measure all relevant parts of my body and jot them down here. And just keep an eye on those things through this struggle too. I feel as if I am slightly smaller because my jeans are so much roomier than they have been, an extra notch on my belt is being used and I’m sure someone did say to me a few days ago ‘Are you losing weight?’ Which of course bought about a broad smile on my red sweaty face.

Nagging sister has just popped in with my middle daughter. They are off to the pub! Lucky, skinny fit active persons! But before she went nagging sister read this blog before I published it. ‘Why are you going bore us with those recipes’ She said. ‘Because I have nothing else to write about’ I explain to nagging sister. ‘Well why are you not out running, its stopped snowing’ She says. And this coming from her who is about to go off with my middle daughter and nagging sisters daughter for a nice lunch and drinkies! Mutter crumble. Oh how I hate………….Oh I don’t know but there must be something that I hate right now.

So this is it, I am not going to bore you with recipes, this all am going to write. I shall indeed write nothing, well nothing apart from what I have already written. After all this is the holidays, and its Sunday, it is a resting day.

Its Raining!

Oh thank goodness, I heap more thanks to Him above. Nagging sister and I both decided that we do not do any sort of workout in the rain. I hate the rain it makes my hair curl. Thank goodness for GHD’s!

I was thinking to myself this would be a good time to write about my diet, or complete life style change really, but that is not going to happen. Let me tell you why. Its been two weeks and four days since I started this immense struggle of mine to get fitter. Only now does the old boy really start to ‘gently’ persuade me to keep going ‘Now that you started, you don’t want to take any breaks’

I was in no fit state to go out ‘there’ its cold, its windy, its raining! And I was out last night! All very good reasons to not do anything today. Maybe if the old boy and young son do stuff in the garden, then I can throw a few shapes in the kitchen to some good shape throwing music. (Well my guys don’t need GHD’s so they don’t care about getting wet while DIYing)

But that is not the case today. ‘Its stopped raining’ says the old boy looking out of the window ‘You know you will feel pleased with yourself if you go out today’ I grumble to my self, its like having nagging sister living with me, oo shudder the thought. But I did get out of my bed, it does indeed look like the sun is going to come out, so maybe the old boy is right.

Off down the stairs put some tunes on to warm myself up much to my joy the rain comes back. ‘I’m not going in the rain’ I shout out to the old boy ‘I mean it really is coming down, and it looks like snow too’ I protest at him. Surely he would agree with me, and have sympathy for me, after all it is the holidays. No such luck, ‘Its passing, just go out its only 15 minuets and you never know you might even run faster’

All warmed up I check the window to see if it has stopped, darn it, it has! I feel as if I am being tested, maybe the old boy is encouraging me to go out in the rain to see how committed I am at this keep fit lark ‘what if its raining on the day of the ‘Race for Life’ he says to me ‘Well of course I will still do it then, wouldn’t I’ I say defeatingly.

I wait for a lull in the rain, its not too bad now, I can put my hood up, gloves on and just attack this days jog with all that I have, which is not a lot after last nights 4 pints of lager and a packet of quavers in the pub and some chicken bits that we had when we got home.

I tell the old boy to start his stopwatch, because I didn’t want to take mine if it starts to rain again, and I open the door. Its raining again! Its cold, and its not even half past nine on a Saturday morning, during the holidays. What am I doing. I must be completely mad, or maybe now I have developed an obsession! Is that healthy? I’, don’t know. I shout to the old boy, ‘right I’m off then’ and with that I bound out of the door before the sweet voice of sanity changed my mind.

I really am not enjoying this at all, its wet and all I want to do is go back home, I look up to Him upstairs with pleading eyes, ‘Please?’ I just say. Before I get half way to the five posts, (and five posts is half way to turn around lamppost) it has stopped raining. ‘Thank you’ I say, looking heavenwards. I also meet, on the way running in the opposite direction, a fellow jogger. He must do this sort of thing all the time, he has a sports water bottle and bright yellow rain jacket and everything ‘Morning’ he says to me. It looks as if he has been out for ages, he is so wet. ‘Morning’ I call back to him. Now I am feeling proud of myself, I am one of the professional joggers, going out even in the rain. You wait until I tell nagging sister. Oh, nagging sister, I need her here today really, I think I over did the pace again, because I am flagging, and wanting to do some more walking. So I imagine her there with me, her hair going all limp in the rain, and her makeup running down her face, why on earth does she puts makeup on to go jogging I don’t know. If I did that it would just all melt of my face and I will look like Alice cooper who has just done a 4 hour gig in the desert!

I hear the voice in my head, pushing me on to turn around lamppost, ‘Lets run though to the end of the ally bit now, old girl’ I hear the voice telling me, ‘That’s it, now you can see turn around lamppost, run straight on to there. ‘Stuff that’ I said out loud, and I look around to see if any was in ear shot. Well of course they’re not, its been raining, its cold, its nine twenty something in the morning and IT’S THE HOLIDAYS.

Lets just say, that I had to really push myself back on the return journey. I had no idea what the time was, if I had beaten my split time to turnaround lamppost, I was just hoping and praying that I was quicker. I must be, I have been running my socks off because its cold and I want to get home. Again from the corner of the road I decide to sprint the last bit to my house, it feels quicker, I feel good about the time, it must be quicker. I bang on the door for the old boy to stop the stopwatch and crawl round the side to get in the warm. ‘How did I do’ I say to the old boy, please please please. ‘16:03 you’re a bit slower!

How comes, I was so certain, maybe I just can’t physically go any faster than this. Maybe I am not supposed to go any faster than this. Or, I think cunningly, maybe my wet clothes slowed me down! Oh yes, you wait until next time, then you’ll see……

Good Friday?

What a wonderful weekend. No work today, plus another three days off. Give Him upstairs loads of thanks over this weekend!

But, and it’s a huge blooming big BUT, schizophrenia has really kicked in big time! Some one had forgotten to tell the voices in my head, that its ok to rest for a while. You don’t need to try and build Rome in a day and all the lovely cliches that make you not want to do anything. So there I was this morning, the voices waking me up at 7:30! I don’t even get up that early when I’m working. But still, on and on the relentless voices continued, for an hour I was literally arguing with myself about whether I should do ‘something’ today. ‘Get up, go for a run’ says the nasty one, as I affectionally call that particular voice now, ‘No stay where you are, it’s the holidays’ says the little voice that is sweeter than any chocolate Easter egg made. But like a chocolate Easter egg in young sons hands, that voice was gone. Left only with the nagging voice (sounds so much like nagging sister actually) I get out of the nice warm bed and declare to the old boy, ‘I’m off for a run’

I put on my nice, new, trendy jogging suit ready to go down stairs to do my warm ups, when I hear the laughter coming from the old boy. ‘Oh yes’ I thought to myself, as I remembered about the word ‘Athletic’ on my bottom!’ ‘You can add the other word on there too,’ says the old boy. Of course I had to ask which word that was ‘Charlton’ he says laughing.

Warm up done, all in full view of the old boy who had got up for tea, (I’m sure it was just to laugh his socks off as I’m bending and stretching in my new Athletic jogging pants!) I head off on my mile jog. The old boy very helpfully starts his own mobile phone stopwatch, at the same time as I start mine. Probably a very good idea, because the way I was feeling, if anyone else mentioned my bottom then……….. I might just accidentally push the buttons on my phone again.

Trying to remember the pace that nagging sister set on Tuesday I round the corner ready to start that stretch of path. I realised that I had overdone the pace because I was already looking for the first lamppost to walk from! At least there doesn’t seem to be many people about this morning, ‘No, that is because they are all tucked up in bed because it’s a HOLIDAY’ says that sweet little voice in my head. ‘Don’t stop at this lamppost run to the next’ came the nasty nagging, sister like voice. And I did. I reached turn around lamppost quicker than my previous.
I decided not to stop to take a breath, I would do a fast pace walk to the first lamppost on the way home. Pushing myself harder all the time , telling myself off when I walk. If there was a psychiatrist on my run I feel sure that they would have me committed! I will definitely need therapy after this! I’m at the end of that stretch of path now, and remembering what nagging sister said to me about doing a sprint from the corner all the way to my house, I walk to the corner, always at a brisk pace, and then a sprint to the house.

I fell into the kitchen, ‘15:44:23’ I shout triumphantly to the old boy! Well ok, I shoved the phone in the old boys face and mumbled and gasped something incoherent at him. Of course the old boys time was different to mind, but I stopped mine at the gate, he waited until I crawled into the house before he stopped his, a whole 5 seconds after!

I was pleased with my time, if I had the energy I would have done the ‘Rocky’ dance at the top of my stairs, but as usual I was stuck to my leather furniture. ‘When do you start to feel better’ I complained to the old boy. And his reply cut me to the marrow when he said. ‘You don’t actually feel better, you just find yourself being able to do more’ Aaagh, more, more?, I..... just want to sit here for the next three years!

Shopping!

I have decided to invest in another pair of jogging bottoms and a matching sweat top, well a girl has to look her best at all times, even though I look a complete wreck after any sort of exercise! But at least everything will be matching. I decided not to ride to the school today, much to the young girls relief, but in the back of my mind is the idea that I will cycle too the shopping precinct, but it’s still just an idea, suggest, by the way, by the encouraging old boy. Now did he use the subliminal ipod again or did he actually talk to me? I wave good bye to young girl at the school gate and head off…..to the shopping precinct! I had talked myself out of the 3 mile ride, or rather the pains in my bottom and legs had reminded me that it will be a very painful journey, anyway it was raining,,,, ever so slightly but there are drops of rain.

With the idea that I would quickly buy the nice new trendy jog suit and then back home for either a jog or even whack up the sounds on the ipod, I haven’t done that for ages and I like dancing, I walk from nagging sisters house to the shopping precinct. See I’m giving myself extra walking just because I took the car!

‘They are real cheap in Lilywhites,’ my middle daughter had told me, so that is the first place I went to. Even though I want to look good, I’m not making a fashion statement and I don’t want to splash out loads of cash either. There wasn’t anything in there that attracted my attention, ‘I shall try Primarks’ I thought to my self, daughter had told me they are doing jog suits for two quid or something like that, unlike the previous shop, sixteen pounds just for the bottoms! I shouldn’t be such a skin flint really!

I found some jog pants and a similar top, (not quite matching, so don’t know where daughter got hers from) but I thought it’ll do for me, and then on to the changing room to just check, because it’s bound to fit, its my size. ‘Oh no it isn’t!’ says this pantomime voice in my head, when I tried on the articles. It was my size on the label, on the hanger and on the sewn in label of the clothes them selves, but I looked ridiculous. Why don’t they make workout clothes for the larger woman with enough room in the legs so as not to show of the celulite. I could see every contour of my body from the waist down, and that was not a good look for me! And as for the top, it too was tight. Tight around my waist, chest and arms. ‘Maybe I have developed muscles’ I thought to myself. If only!.

This is the time I would normally head for the nearest Burger King or Maccie D’s for their huge burgers chips and an orange juice, (the o.j. is my attempt of dieting) But I resisted, I thought about the reason why I was doing this, not just for me to get fitter, but for my mum, and raising money for Cancer Research UK. ‘I’ll just go back to Lilywhites and pay out the thirty quid on a new jog suit.

As I was heading off in that direction I thought I would just pop into one more cheapo store. And hey bingo, here they were selling jog pants and sweat shirts for eight quid a pop! Well there I was, rifling though all, what I think, are very trendy suits indeed. But do you think I could find the matching top and bottoms in my size. I was there for ages, I find the right size bottoms but no matching top. I find the right size top but no bottoms. In black, in brown, in blue. I was even contemplating getting the bright pink suit! But then I found it, Its grey, it has pink in it, so its still nice and girly, and its my size. I run to the changing rooms with my find to try on the items, hoping that they will fit. Yes, yes, yes, they fit, I didn’t bother checking to see if the backside looks big in it, (because I know it does) and straight out to purchase my prize. Still plenty of time to get home, work out to some tunes, do the housework and write blog.

Well I’m home now, obviously as I’m writing blog. I got my lovely new jog suit out of the bag, I look at it admirably, Oh yes, I shall look the business in this tomorrow! But, (its back again that but) on the ‘butt’ of my jog pants, that I hadn’t realised before (because I never looked at my butt when I tried it on in the shop), in baby pink, is the word, ‘Athletic!

I laughed to my self at the picture in my mind of that word stretched across my bottom. ‘Athletic!’ The only thing athletic about my butt is that you could probably use it for the vaulting events in the Olympics.

Still, it can’t take long to reduce the stretching, right?

It's Transport Day!

This is me, on thebottom, looking rather fetching in my cycle hat, best be safe that sorry I say and the picture on the top is nagging sister, looking bloomin' glamourous!! Best look glamourous than like a nerd is my sisters motto! She even has proper bicycle clips!



Bikes to be exact! Nagging sister and I will ride our bikes, all through the gorgeous green woods on to roads back into woods, and pass the bored, forever eating, sheep.
Sounds good doesn’t it. It sounds so simple, a pleasant way to spend a couple of hours? Already exhausted from the ride up to the school with the forever complaining young girl, I start towards our pre-arranged meeting point. Its cold, I didn’t put my leather jacket on, (Well unless you are riding a motor bike, it doesn’t give the same impact!) and I have just a warm woolly fleece, those worn out jogging bottoms and gloves on.

I arrive at the pre-arranged place, looking as if I had just finished our mega bike ride already, but no nagging sister. I look at my watch, I am ten minutes early. I should have gone home to get some cash first, then we could have stopped off for quick pint of lager half way round! I am starting to feel the cold again now, so I just start to move my legs and arms around, trying not to look like some demented person trying to flag down all the traffic, which seems to have built up. I can’t believe that I have just come off this road, Its really quite scary to think of me riding next to this traffic. But not to think about that now. Fifteen minutes later nagging sister has arrived, by now I don’t care what I look like I am freezing and wanting to get on with the cycle route. I remembered I had bought my camera along, and quickly get a picture of nagging sister, this is the first time I have seen her looking in pain. She does have a huge hill to ride up first off to meet me, no warm up roads first., (I try not to snigger at that, unsuccessfully) ‘I have been here ages’ I tell puffed out nagging sister, she tries to talk to me but instead just smiles. How comes she can still smile when she is puffed out, I just grimace and frown and sweat! Before we set off we decided to take pictures of each other ‘before’ the ride, then we will get one ‘after’ .

Off we go, down the road and on to the country park. The sun is shining, even though it is still freezing out here, and the birds are tweeting all around. Dogs and their owners are all over the place, it really is a pleasant ride! So far. But then! Oh there always has to be a but then, doesn’t there. The path that we need to go on seems to have disappeared under tons of wet, sticky, make you fall of your bike, mud! ‘Just stick to the side of the puddles’ says nagging sister to me, with her big fat wheels on her bike. I on the other hand have very thin wheels, it’s the only thin thing about me! Mind you talking of that, I have lost weight, Yippee,!!! I was **stone and now I am ** stone 10 ½ pounds ( I will let you know at the end of May, my exact weight, but for now, just losing those couple of pounds has put a smile on my face. Anyway I have gone of track. Very apt, that saying, because the track that we were riding on is in fact one huge mud bath. I can imagine getting all mud stuck up in my mud guards, maybe even getting stuck half way through a particularly muddy section. But this is me, the old girl on her bike, and of course I did get stuck half way through the muddy mire. But I didn’t embarrass myself completely, (I didn’t fall off into the mud) I did however have to get off my bike and try and manoeuvre a way through the sticky stuff, with nagging sister laughing at me, in her usual helpful way.

We eventually got to the bit that I was looking forward to, the roads. I like riding on the roads, ok so I don’t like it when the cars are on there too, but at least there is any mud. Here we are looking absolutely glamorous, me with my skid lid on, and jogging bottoms stuffed into my stripy black and white socks, and nagging sister……darn it, she does look glamorous! Why don’t I look like that, I must nag her to get a skid lid too, for safety reasons only of course, you must always ride your bike on the road with your cycle helmet firmly on your head.

Down the lovely tarmac roads, with nagging sister behind asking all the time, when do we go back to the woods. ‘I’m sure its just a little further down this road’ I shout back to her, ‘Its not far’ I can’t really remember it being this far, mind, but still it’s a lovely clean, almost traffic free road, what’s the worry. But come across the public byway we did. ‘Here it is’ I shout to nagging sister, but she already spotted it and was heading in that direction. ‘This is where we saw those dog walkers and got the map’ says nagging sister, the map that I forgot to bring with us. Maybe I should have gone home after all, pick up the map and get money for a lager. Too late now to think of niceties like that.

By now my legs were aching, my hands were freezing, but, the mud on my bike had fallen off. I was not looking forward to going back to the ‘Countryside’ as nagging, sister calls it.

We decide to go a different route to the one that we went before. Neither of us was in any hurry to get anywhere anyway, there is only housework and more housework when we get home, so why not. Off we trundle into the countryside, splashing through mud! Oh how I hate……….mud! I am seriously thinking that I would rather jog the whole of that stretch of path again then go through this. But onwards and…..upwards! Upwards,do woods never go down! Have you ever peddled a road bike, up hill in thick gooey mud? Its awful, its slow, its hard. I don’t like it. Nagging sister is flying off up the gooey slope, with her big fat bike wheels, ‘well at least something is fat about her‘, I mumbled to myself. ‘Which way?’ she says to me. I don’t have a clue, I'd forgotten to bring the map, I remembered my keys, by camera, my hat, my gloves, my empty water bottle! Oh no, not even water to drink. Luckily nagging sister bought some along.

We reach a part of the path where a road runs beside it, quite a busy road. I hope we can go on there. Nagging sister is still leading, and she takes the path that runs parallel to the road. Oh good, we might go on there, I’m thinking to myself. Then I let out a scream, the path is really muddy, there are tree roots and tree stumps all over the place and my bike slips from under me. I managed to stay upright but the scream made nagging sister turn around and then promptly fall off her bike. Now it was my turn to ‘pee my pants’ Oh how happy I felt right then. Did I rush off my bike to help nagging sister as she struggled to get up from under her bike, no, I just sat astride mine and laughed.

We did ride on to the road eventually, but it wasn’t where we thought we were. In fact we had no idea where we were. ‘Lets just turn left and see where we end up’ Says sister in her throw away comments. It does seem the right decision, but I’m not telling her that. We see some workman digging up the road, nagging sister, who I might add doesn’t seem to have any mud on her, unlike me, smiles broadly at these guys and asks them where we were. One chap did say France, but I tended to think that maybe we didn’t go that far, but in fact we had ridden to Chislehurst! I was impressed with myself.

We rode out bikes, always turning left, and we came across a pub, oh how I wished I had gone home first, I could smell the beer from here. Turning left and riding on, and we come across the ‘countryside again. ‘I know where we are’ says know it all nagging sister. ‘Yup we just need to ride down here, and then down there, and that is where you fell of your bike’ Do I tell her that she too fell off, hmm? No I will save that for another day.

And indeed that is where we were. Know it all nagging sister, who has not one bit of mud on her, and probably not even on her bike, was right.

We rode all the way back to our pre-arranged meeting point, where I unfortunately (on purpose) forgot to get the camera out for the ‘after’ bike ride shot…….

A push my self harder day!

I really do want to push myself harder today, especially after nagging sister jogging the whole entire mile with out any walking. I must do better, I must do better. The voice in my head is encouraging me to do better, push harder.

With no little fella still to take to nursery me and young girl can ride our bikes to her school. Young girl does find it difficult to get up that hill and complains and creates all the way to the top! But I push her, verbally of course, well I have had training on how to encourage people to do their best, (thinking of sister, mutter, grumble, grinding teeth) and we make it to the school where I dutifully wave her off to her class and I can go back home. The way back home is easy as its all down hill! I like going down hill.

Sister arrives at my house for our jog down that stretch of path ten minutes after I get back from the school run. ‘Why you not in your joggers and stuff, come on’ she says in the nag nag nag voice of hers. ‘Yes I am coming’ I tell her, ‘I just needed to find my other glove as my hands were cold from the bike ride this morning’

The old boy was still here, and he was encouraging me to push myself harder too. So not only did I have the voice in my head, I had nagging sister and encouraging old boy telling me to push myself ‘Just think, in three months time you’ll have that down to under ten minutes’ he says, encouragingly (I’m sure??) Earlier in the morning I had said to him that I can’t wait for the 1st June to arrive the I can stop all this training malarkey. The old boy said, ‘No, you can’t stop there you got to keep it going, there is always next years one!. Next year!. I can’t think that far a head.

Nagging sister and I are in the kitchen doing our warm ups, and its funny how all those video tapes, CD’s or even the classes you used to do back in the old days, pop up in your mind. ‘I used to do this stretch to Rosemary Conley’s tape’ I said to nagging sister, ‘Oh yes I used to do this with the personal trainer’ says nagging sister, ‘He used to push me real hard’ How comes she got a personal trainer and I got a Video tape that I could switch off if Rosemary nagged to much, and I bet her personal trainer had a fit body, and was pleasant to look at, mutter, grumble, moan.

The warm ups done, we head for the door, with my stopwatch at the ready, (I must get a proper one soon), ‘Ok’ says nagging sister, ‘We are going to jog the whole way, just a slow jog, not a sprint, but we are going to do it, ok’ she says to me. I’m sure she is daring me. ‘Yeah ok’ I says, trying not to sound as if I am about to climb Everest in a pair of hot pants vest top, and only a piece of string for safety. The pace wasn’t as bad as I thought, it was a nice pace, I could talk to nagging sister, about how pleasant the weather is today, ‘There is no need to sprint up to turn around lamppost’ she says, knowingly. (It must have been that personal trainer that said things like that to her) ‘Just a nice steady plod along, as long as the heart rate is going that’s good. Up to that stretch of path, still jogging, still chatting to nagging sister. On the path two wet big dogs make a bee line for me and nagging sister. Tails wagging, wet noses at the ready, (you and I know where dogs put their wet noses, Eh, eh? say no more) The are wanting to be petted. I slow down, in fact I walk passed dogs, (any excuses to walk really) well, you can never tell with dogs just which way they will go. ‘Morning’ I say to the dog owners, quickly glancing to see if they had a ‘poop bag’ with them. Those dogs were not the ones who left the huge soft smelly hurdle of a few days ago.

I jogged further than I have jogged before, but I look at the time, ‘My way is quicker’ I tell nagging sister, ‘Yes but you walk some of the way, and your heart rate slows down, this way it stays constant and so its better’ Who told her that, is that true, I have no idea. I have never been fit ever in my life,’ were the thoughts going through my mind. As you probably can guess, by now, we are well passed half way to turn around lamppost, I am feeling it. We pass some work men and I feel that I need to jog pass the guys and try to look as if I am enjoying my self ’Morning’ I say to them, in almost a non puffed out voice, and I even give them a thumbs up. As soon as we pass them I jog on just until the next lamppost and I walk, glad that I passed the men jogging. I am out of breath and my legs feel heavy and nagging sister doesn’t even look as she has broke into a sweat yet! I’m sure I remember the old boy saying there is no need to kill yourself, just do your own thing, so I feel justified in walking,… briskly…..staring at the back of nagging sisters head! How comes she is the skinny one! Mutter, grumble.

‘Just a quick rest at turn around lamppost then we’re off again’ She says. Was she breathing heavily, even ever so slightly heavily, I can’t tell. I am waving my stopwatch at her and saying ‘My way I would have been here sooner!’ But still she is unfazed by that, she says that the heart rate thing is what is good for you. Hmm.

‘Bye bye turn around lamppost, see you Thursday.’ the voice in my head says, as we headed off on the homeward jog. Nagging sister, pushing me all the time, whose bloomin idea to invite her here with me, oh how I hate…….being nice. ‘Look’ says nagging sister, ‘there’s those men we passed on the way up, I want you to pass them on the way back’ What is this woman, is she some sort of sadistic thorn in my side, (I say that because now I have got a stitch, I know I wouldn’t have had that had I did my own thing) ‘Come on, you can do it, get those arms up it does help’ If I could get my hands up I would strangle…..but she’s is right, darn it. Those men look so far away, I’m sure they are almost at the end of that stretch of path. I feel sure there is no way on earth that I will catch up to them, they are two tiny dots of yellow on the horizon. ‘I can’t do’ I cry out in pain ‘Yes you can, come on keep jogging, I’ll go a bit slower for you’ she says patronisingly. But I did as the dutiful fat, wanna be fit sister does, and I jog on, I almost cry out when we get to the two men, ‘Ok’ says nagging sister lightly to the men, and even manages a broad smile, me on the other hand, just look at them helplessly, and grunt something their way and almost raise a thumb, but didn’t quite manage it. I jog on to the next lamppost with the sound of the men shouting encouraging words, (Well I hope that is what they are doing) as I reach the road. ‘We’ll walk up to the corner and then a fast sprint to your gate’ says nagging sister,
' A fast what!’ is what I thought I said to her, but it came out as ‘aaah blur blubbb ohee haaa’ But I think I did nod my agreement which pleased nagging sister. All too soon the corner of the road came, and before I knew it, I heard ‘Ok go!’ Sprinting down the road, looking at my house, which seems to move further away from me rather than get nearer, ‘Are you sprinting, keep it going, come on, you can do it’ And I virtually did two yards from my door I did slow down, but I’m pleased that I did it. I look at my stopwatch, it must be some sort of Olympic record now, 16:16:27!!! Is that it, is that it?, I slump on the sofa, almost melting into leather, I could have cried. Oh how I hate…………stop watches.

The Blarney Stone!

Monday, 17th March 2008 The Blarney stone!

I know its St. Patrick’s day, and no, I haven’t kissed the blarney stone, so what I am telling is exactly what happened.

Yesterday, I did everything I usually do on my Sundays, I got up, had my tea and yogurt (I have realised that I have not spoken about my diet so far, I shall do that at some point) and went off to church with my guitar! Ok, so I took the car, but it was raining and I didn’t want to get my guitar bag all wet and stuff, besides, I will do some training when I get back from church.

Suitably refreshed, spiritually and physically, (I had another cup of tea after the morning service) I was all set to think about doing some dancing and prancing around in my kitchen to my itunes, when I received a phone call from my second cousin once removed and replaced three times, or whatever the relationship is there, that she and the other half are in the area and ‘is it ok to pop in for tea!’ ‘Yes, no problem’ I say looking around at the untidy house! ‘See you both soon’ So now I am running around like a blue assed fly tidying up, and empting the dishwasher to re fill with last nights bits! Well they came, and I looked calm and unflustered even though they were on my doorstep within fifteen minutes after calling!, and the house? , well the down stairs looked pretty good, even if I do say so myself. Not too pristine clean that it makes you feel uncomfortable and not to untidy to make you think, ‘that lazy bloomin’ mare’
Anyway, the relatives stayed for a least three or so hours, so no bumping and grinding to any sort of music while I do housework. But there was this feeling inside of me of guilt. Yes, that’s right, guilt. I felt guilty that I hadn’t done any sort of exercise all day, maybe I should get up an hour earlier, before church, and do my run then. Ah there it goes, the guilty feeling disappeared! With that only one thought, me getting up early! The whole guilt thing left me. And so, as I was saying good by to the outlaws on the doorstep, the old boy came home from work! ‘Well no chance of a run now’ I won’t even mention the bump and grind bit, you know how men think. I thought to my self. ‘Gotta get the ole boy his dinner’ So that was Sunday, a nice day, a no heart racing, head throbbing, music pounding legs aching, sweat inducing Sunday, Just the way it should be.

Monday how ever is a different day. I had already pre-planned to take young girl to school on our bikes this morning, as I haven’t got the little fella to take to the nursery. I set off after doing my warm ups in the kitchen and I felt ok. Well look at me, I am cycling to school, and I’m not hurting as much as I usually do, then again I haven’t gone up the hills yet. I pick up the young girl, she gives me a very peculiar look because of my cycle helmet, (And with my track record for falling off bikes, it is probably a wise thing to wear) we set off for the one mile journey to her school. We are not going a breakneck speed and I am really just gently cycling along when I take a quick glance at young girl, she is puffing and panting!! What is this, I think to myself, a young fit healthy girl, who only last year, probably would have beaten me to the end of the path, is struggling slightly. Or maybe its because she has smaller wheels and has to peddle more than me, if you’re into maths, or science, or what ever it is that you need do to calculate the amount of times one has to peddle a smaller wheel bike compared to a larger wheel bike, then again I expect that is what you will be thinking right about now. But not me, I am feeling quite proud of my self as I stop and walk with young girl. ’You ok’ I ask, and then offer to take her school bag of her shoulders, because she says its slowing her down! Hmmm I wonder if that is the reason, but I doubt it, I think to myself smugly. When we get to the point were it’s a huge hill to climb, I am all prepared to keep up with this young girl on her small wheel bike and ride along right beside her. I start up the hill and I am thinking to myself ’I am not going to make it,’ I am going to have to ask young girl to get off her bike so that we can push our push bikes up the hill. How disappointed I feel right now, until that is, young girl says to me, ’I can’t ride up hills, I am going to have to get off and push’ Oh joy of joys, I think, ’Yeah, that’s no problem’ I say to young girl, all the while, secretly thanking Him upstairs.

It was an uneventful ride to the school and I got back home fairly quickly. Well that’s the exercise done for today, now time to finish housework, (because it didn’t get finished yesterday with the outlaws here) and then maybe get the Fender out. No, no, no, no, no! That is not possible, not when you have a nagging, fit, active, nagging (did I already say that) sister telling you to ‘Do the mile’ Nag, nag, nag! ‘I need to take my car to the garage then I’m jogging all the way home’ Says nagging sister. Well that can’t be far, I’m thinking to myself. ‘So how far is the garage’ I asked trying not to sound too interested. ‘I don’t know’ she says. Then I suggested to put the mile-ometer thingy on the car when she takes it to the garage. I say goodbye to nagging sister and go and get my training clothes on, by now they are looking worn, I even have a tear in the legs so I look like a complete professional, who does loads of training and wears out jogging bottoms! I do my warm ups and then straight out to do that stretch of path! Again uneventful journey to turn around lamppost. Check time, and it was 7:27:93 So, it was faster than last time, well I presumed it was, but I can’t really say as I couldn’t see properly last time. ‘You on time’ I heard a voice from the side of me. I look over to my right and there was a passer by ‘you on time’ she says again after I remove my ipod from my ears. ‘Yes, I’m a little bit quicker as well I think’ I said back to her, then I remembered to just push the button to record the time I stopped then I can restart it again after my little chat. I explained to the friendly passer by about why am looking like I have just come out of the Lambert and Butler factory after I have smoked the whole days quota of cigarettes. ‘Good luck’ She says after me, as I go back down the path, with me feeling as if I have just stolen a few precious moments off of nagging sister to recuperate. On wards down the path, always hurdling over messy dog owners dogs doings,(I am blaming the dog owners now, because they could at least teach their dog to poop in the verges at the very least). I reach the end of the path all set to get to my house on the road. ‘What do you look like’ I hear a voice call from a car. My friend was looking at me and chuckling at my puffy, crimson red throbbing wet face. ‘What’s all this in aid of ? she says. Again I push the button to stop the timer, anything for a few precious seconds, and explain to her the reason I am looking a complete mess. ‘Good for you’ She says, ‘Keep it up’ And with that I am off again, trying to jog the whole way back now to my house. All the time knowing sister is going to be jogging back from the garage, I feel sure that it is a mile, I am just hoping its not. Grind teeth!!!!! I look at my stopwatch and to my horror I have used up all the spaces to record split times and now I have stopped the timing altogether. But this time I feel sure that I have beaten my previous as I thunder on towards my house, angry at myself for doing that again with the stopwatch, I must invest in a proper stopwatch.

Back at the house, I quickly unlock the door and make straight for the tap. Gulp down a glass of water and collapse on the sofa, sticking slightly to the leather. Thank goodness I went with the leather can you imagine the state of it in a few months time, yuck! There I sat, I should get up and do the warm downs. But I sat, and I sat. ‘Now!’ I heard sisters nagging voice inside my head ‘Get up now and stretch out the muscles!’ I know I should, and reluctantly I surrender to the voice and get up and stretch out my muscles before making myself a nice cuppa.

Sister rings me ‘it’s a mile from the garage to mine’ she says ‘And I jogged all the way home, no stopping , no walking, just jogging’ Oh how I hate……………….talking!!!!